Such a dreadful word it cannot even be repeated

Dust, dust.  Wow.  It’s been a while.  Something happened last week though and my mom encouraged me (rightfully) that I must record it.  So here it goes.

In Thomas’ class the teacher tracks their daily behavior on a color chart with clothes pins/clips.  If they do something good (as an individual or as a group), she might tell them to move their clip up.  Everyone starts on green every day.  It can be moved up one spot to blue, then a lighter blue, then purple (and purple is apparently the magical land that few every reach).  Alternately, bad behavior drops the clip down.  The first decrease is yellow, then orange and on down to red (which might lead to a trip to the principal or something). 

So last Thursday Thomas came out of school dragging his feet and with his head dropped, looking quite sullen.  He came over to me and buried his head in my abdomen.  I leaned down and asked if he was okay.  He sadly replied a quiet “yes.”  I asked if someone did something to him or hurt his feelings. “No,” he sheepishly replied.  Then I realized it must be the clip.  I asked him if he had his clip dropped and he got teary.  He mumbled something about how he was trying to be funny and he promised he wasn’t trying to be mean.

Over the next few minutes I managed to get a few more details.  He and a few other boys were playing with some girls at recess and in an effort to be “funny,” the boys called the girls a word that he could not repeat.  Thinking this must be something really obscene, I told him we would talk privately when we got home so he didn’t teach his brother any bad behavior.  Oh, and that was the second bad behavior of the day.  His clip had already been moved to yellow because he was talking during work time.   My chatty boy is always talking.

When we got home I called him into my bedroom and we sat next to each other on the couch.  I asked him to tell me what happened and he started bawling his eyes out.  “Mommy, I promise you I was trying to be funny; I wasn’t trying to be mean!”  I asked him what he said and he just kept going on and on about how he couldn’t tell me.  “I just can’t do it! You are going to be so mad at me, and I promise I wasn’t trying to be mean!”  He was sobbing now and the mystery word was clearly becoming that which could not be spoken.

I begged him to tell me.  He said he just couldn’t do it.  He was clearly ashamed.  He said, “I’m so mad at myself!”  I asked him if he called them fat or ugly or something like that.  “No, Mommy!  I promise!”  I asked him if he said a bad word and he said no.  I was utterly perplexed.

I started telling him that I was almost sure whatever he said was not as bad as he thought it was because as long as he didn’t say a bad word or insult the girls with a mean word, it really couldn’t be that bad.  But still, he would not tell me.  I begged some more.  He’d start to say something and then start weeping again.

Finally my curiosity was killing me.  I asked if I got him some paper if he could write down the word.  After some thought and consideration, he agreed.  So I got some paper and a pencil for him and left the room.  I told him to call me when he was ready for me to return.  A minute later he called me back.  When I got to the room he was hiding under the covers of my bed.  The paper was laying on the sofa.

I picked up the paper, almost dreading what horrifying word I was about to read.  And then I read it.  I had to hold back my laughter with every fiber of me.

The word….was “immature.”  Seriously.  I said it out loud, “Immature?”  He cried out, “Yes mommy, but I promise! I promise I wasn’t being mean.”  “Ummm, okay. Do you know what it means?” I asked. “Yes! It means acting younger than you are.”

I honestly wasn’t even sure how to reply.  I told him if it hurt the girls feelings he has to respect their right to feel how they do, but that it really wasn’t an awful thing to say.

But despite the fact that I minimalized it and tried to reassure him that it wasn’t that bad, he repeated the entire dramatic episode when his Daddy got home and asked how his day was.  I had already quietly told Trey the whole story when he got home (Thomas had run up the stairs and shut himself in his room when he heard his Dad’s car come in the garage).  But Trey acted like he didn’t know, but told Thomas he had to actually say the word if he wanted to go to his friend’s birthday party the next day.  Thomas cried and wailed for at least 10 minutes and insisted that he just could not say the word out loud.

Seriously, some days parenting is tough…and some days you are just trying hard not to laugh and seemingly belittle the things that get your children all worked up.  While part of me was sad to see him so clearly upset when his dad was trying to get him to tell him the story, the other part of me was fighting the laughter.  I had to keep putting my head on the dinner table.

Immature.  Or as he spelled it, “imature.”  Seriously.  Trey was a bit incensed that he got in trouble for it.  Trey’s reaction when Thomas finally said the word out loud. “Really?  That’s it?  Immature?  Well you were right.  Girls are immature.”  HA!

Thomas the reader

I have neglected this blog terribly and I hope to get back to it at some point, but I was just using it as a reference and looking up some information when I came across this blog post that I made more than five years ago about Thomas' love of reading.  He was not yet two.   I've come across similar blog posts in the past.  And for as much as we hope Parker will be as much of a reader as Thomas, I don't know that I have all these posts from his childhood about his love of reading.  That said, Parker is doing just great with his reading.  He just started kindergarten and he is reading Level 1 & 2 books.  I don't know that he'll be ready to move on to chapter books within a month as Thomas was at his age, but he is doing just great either way.

Thomas, on the other hand, just turned in his summer reading logs.  It's not completely accurate because it doesn't count the large number of small books he read to his brother and on his own.  And it doesn't account for the many books he read more than once.  But he read 112 chapter books (some over 300 pages).  His total number of pages read for the summer was over 10,701.  And I, on the other hand, won't confess to how few books I read.  I need to learn by his fabulous example.  He still reads ALL the time and gets very upset when he cannot read as long as he wants.  It's pretty good when taking books away from your child is a punishment.  I hope it always continues!

First swim meet

Thomas had his first swim meet yesterday.  He was pretty nervous!  He was chosen to be one of the four boys in the 7-8 division on his team who were swimming "for points" in the 25M freestyle.  He was competing against boys who were 8 years old and he's only been 7 for not quite two months...so I think he did great!

It was an away meet, and while he is used to diving off the "blocks," they had to dive off the side at this pool.  He still needs some work on that.  You can see while the other boys were hanging out and relaxing before the start, Thomas is the one who practicing his dive form.  I was trying to tell him to relax but he was in his zone!

My video missed the moment of the dive, but he is the swimmer in the fourth lane from the top.  He swam really strong and I think he had his personal best time!

There was a little mix-up in his ribbon at first, so I didn't get a picture with him and the right ribbon until we were dressed to leave, but here's our happy guy, beaming with his 4th place ribbon!

 

He had a great time, and he told me when we were leaving that he already knows he wants to do swim team next year and the year after that!  Coming from Thomas, our non-sports-oriented child who seems to quickly tire of practice and games, this says a lot.  We are in hour-a-day practices now (five-six days a week), so it's a good thing he loves it!

Little fish

Thomas recently finished his first season of machine-pitch baseball.  He improved throughout the season just like he did in each of his one seasons played in t-ball and coach pitch, but I don’t know if he’ll want to play again (granted, he said that after coach pitch and yet he changed his mind).  Baseball, soccer…they are not sports that seem to come naturally to him and while he sticks them out, I don’t know that I’d say he enjoys it.

So in the quest to find the sport that Thomas might actually enjoy, I signed him up for swim team this year.  I was worried it was going to be too much of a time commitment, and if he hated it, it would be an absolute power struggle making it to practice five days a week.  But I also knew there was a chance he would love it.  And he does.

On days we had baseball games and swim practice,  I begged him to skip swimming and just focus on baseball, but he wanted to swim.  He has improved his freestyle stroke (and is still working on getting better!), learned a proper backstroke and been introduced to the breaststroke and butterfly.  Strangely enough, he has really picked up on the butterfly more quickly than others on the team.  I am completely confused by the stroke, so I’ve been pleasantly surprised and impressed.

Next week they start their official “meets.”  There will be eight of them – though the first is a “mock meet” that will serve the purpose of being an official time trial to see which kids will race in the meet.  Not all children will swim for points at each meet, but each child is guaranteed to swim competitively at least twice.  Thomas is hoping he gets to swim (for points) more than twice, so he is working hard at being the fastest.

They had practice trials at practice yesterday (they were also learning how to dive off the blocks at the same time).  This was the third time Thomas did it and I videoed it because I realized the first two times he was finishing long before the other children who jumped in at the same time.  In this video, I missed the part where he dove off the block and he didn’t finish as quickly as the other times, but he still was first.  He is the swimmer in the third lane from the top.

Thomas at swim practice

Before swim practice yesterday, he had a private lesson with his swim coach to work on his freestyle technique.  I didn’t make this video until the end of the lesson, so at this point he had been swimming for nearly 30 minutes and was understandably tired.  Even so, you can see how he is doing (though he was doing a better job of not “slapping” the water a bit earlier in the lesson).

Swim lap at the end of swim lesson

The pool lap is 25 meters.  Thomas is doing well, and he continuously improves.  Best of all, he loves it.  I’m excited to see if he still feels that way when we start meets next week…and hour-long practices 5 days a week (will replace the 30 minutes we’ve been doing since the first of May).

Parker is FIVE!

I just realized that I never did an update for Parker on his 4th birthday and I feel terrible about it.  I won’t make the same mistake this year!  So here we are…  Even though he is as tall as some of Thomas’ seven year old friends, it is still hard for me to believe that it has been five years since our little baby was born!

Parker is a joyful child.  He is often loud and boisterous and gets easily excited.  We often have to calm him down a little bit as he does tend to be a bit overly enthusiastic about many things.  Sometimes instead of walking from place to place, he likes to bounce.

He has enjoyed his time at his preschool, but is excited to follow his brother to the big school next year.  It’s always interesting to see how differently your children can grow and develop.  Thomas has always been extremely articulate, but his handwriting takes a tremendous amount of work to be decent.  Parker is doing so much better at this point with things like handwriting, drawing and coloring, but his speech is still a struggle.  He is getting so much better, but we frequently have to remind him to speak clearly and not mumble. 

Parker is doing well with reading.  When I looked back at Thomas’ five year update, I saw that at that age Thomas was always asking about the different words he would see.  Looking back now, I see he was building his sight word vocabulary because when he got to kindergarten, he just took off reading as if he had known all the words for a long time.  Apparently, he did.  Parker, on the other hand, is probably going to be a more traditional type of early reader.  He knows some simple sight words, but usually has to sound out the things he sees.  He is doing very well with his reading though.  He can read simple Bob books with ease, and can usually work his way through a variety of #1 books.  I read a few books to him (and sometimes he reads to me) at rest time (he doesn’t nap, but he does stay upstairs and quietly entertain himself for 30-60 minutes a day), and then usually he reads a few books to his Daddy at bedtime.  I’m not sure if he has the love of reading quite like his big brother, but he does enjoy it.

Back to school, he does pretty well.  For as hyper as he can be at times, I think he is relatively well behaved at school.  His teachers tell me he is generally good about knowing when it’s time to play and time to have fun.  According to his count, he’s only had one time out at school all year, so that’s good.  :) He has been with a few friends throughout all three years at preschool and it seems they are all going separate ways next year.  I know he will miss seeing them daily…especially his best girl friend, R:

This year at school he has enjoyed staying later for karate one day (which he also did last year) and Science Seekers.  We probably will have to continue karate as he enjoys it and it seems to be good for keeping him disciplined and focused when he needs to be.  He has earned his blue striped belt.

He has many friends, and a couple of best buddies, but his absolute favorite, best friend of all is definitely his brother.  They are two peas in a pod!  Parker likes to do what he does and dress like him and be with him always.  And yes, he is almost as tall as him too.

I think Parker started riding his bike without training wheels before he was four.  Last year we moved Thomas up to a 20” bike and we quickly realized that by size, Parker needed to move up too.  That 16” bike was looking smaller and smaller.  So I found a fabulous deal on a used bike at a consignment sale and we surprised Parker with it (They had been turned around facing the other direction and when we told them to turn around and see what was there, this was the reaction):

He loves it and rides it daily.  Thomas likes to ride it too.  He’s a bit jealous of his brother’s fancy geared bike.

Parker remains a good eater.  I think he eats out of boredom most of the time, but he doesn’t miss a snack.  He still loves fruits and vegetables most of all.  His absolute favorite meal is chicken pot pie.  But if he wants something sweet, he loves going out for frozen yogurt and loading it up with way too much candy and such.  Here he was recently with his first friend, SE:

His oddest snack request is pretty funny and unexpected.  If he spies a small can of garbanzo beans in the pantry, he must have them.  Straight out the can.  Silly boy.

Parker is a sweet boy.  He loves to laugh and he gets very upset if he thinks he has hurt your feelings or disappointed you.  I hope he always keeps that sweetness about him.  He also has a hard time being around someone who is hurt or sad.  It really upsets him.  He is truly such a sweetheart. 

So even though he wakes too early (usually by 6:45, if not before) and stays up too late, he’s a sweet boy and his laugh and smile melt me.

I cannot believe it was five years ago that our precious, dark-haired 8 lb, 8 oz baby came home with us.  It has been a fun five years and I only hope the next five will slow down a little so we can enjoy it all the more!

Happy birthday Parkie Park!

Thomas is seven!

It is hard wrap my mind around the fact that it has been seven years since our first son came home from the hospital in this little outfit.  Seriously, is that not a doll baby’s outfit?!?

He was a mere 8 lbs, 4 oz. then, and now he’s somewhere over 60 pounds (62 at last check a month ago). We came home from the hospital completely in awe that he was miraculously and safely into this world and that he was ours forever.  Additionally we were in awe that the hospital allows first-time parents to walk out that door at all.  We were clueless.  But here we are, seven years later and hopefully we are getting better at this gig called parenting.

Seven seems like a big age and I am not sure I am ready for it.  In the past year, Thomas has learned to tie his shoes (finally!)…

…and he has started losing his teeth (at this point he has lost the front two teeth on the bottom)…

And he just generally seems to have crossed this imaginary line into the world of “big-boydom.”  I find myself really trying to be aware of the clothes I buy him (that they aren’t too cutesy and are more plain).  And every time I hug him I am amazed at how big he is now.  I guess he has “filled in” as people say and he is just so big I cannot stand it.

He started the Cub Scouts this year and he loves it.  We haven’t been able to make many meetings lately because of baseball, but he misses it so much and wants to get back to them soon.  He was so proud of himself when he placed second in his pack at the Pinewood Derby races back in March.

As I mentioned, he is playing baseball currently.  I was surprised initially when he said he wanted to play this year and it very well may be the last year he gives it a try.  It has been machine-pitch baseball this year and it has been a bit of a struggle.  He seems happy enough, most of the time, but he went through the first 4-5 games without a hit and I think the frustration was finally getting to him.  Finally he got a hit and maybe that will give him the confidence he needs.  He starts his first try on a swim team soon too.  We’ll see how that goes.

The things that he loves most of all are playing outside and reading. The boy reads everywhere and all the time. 

At any given moment you could stroll through our house and my car and probably find 4-5 books he has left open to a page or with dog-eared pages.  He gets very upset at night if I make him turn off his lights before he feels he has had ample time to read.  He loves it if we get him to bed early enough on a Friday night that he can have 1.5-2 hours to read. 

I try to take him to the library every couple of weeks.  It’s hard to limit him to 15-20 books and he usually reads 5-6 in the first day.

He reads very fast too.  One time we read two pages of his book silently together.  He finished before I did.  I thought that meant he didn’t really read it and he would have no comprehension of what he had read.  So I asked him some questions about the story and he answered every one of them correctly.  He generally does very well with reading comprehension at school, too.  He also does well with spelling, but sometimes gets frustrated when he knows the word is not spelled right but he can’t quite figure out how to get it right!

He goes through phases on the books he likes to read.  We tend to like books that are part of a series.  He started with Magic Tree House books, then read most of the Flat Stanley and Ready Freddy series.  His current favorites are the Bailey School Kids, Geronimo Stilton, Dan Gutman’s “My Weird School” books, and various books by Beverly Cleary and Judy Blume.

Thomas also likes to make you laugh and he likes to think he’s pretty funny. 

On the flip side, he can have a bit of a temper sometimes and we’re trying to help him better handle his frustration without yelling and getting so upset so quickly.  He is generally such a happy boy, so s tough to see him so quick to anger when someone (generally his brother) doesn’t do what he wants them to do!

His circle of friends changing somewhat over the year, but the one thing that stays the same is that his brother is his absolute best friend.  They fuss and fight like I am sure most brothers do, but at the end of the day they want to be around each other as much as possible.

Food is not so much of a challenge these days.  Well, I should rephrase.  He is willing to eat most of what we give him, but sometimes I feel it takes him almost an eternity to actually make it through dinner.  But we have continued with making him (and his brother) eat at least small amounts of vegetables and everything else that is on his plate.  Recently he surprised us with a love of roasted okra!  However, his favorite is still pizza (and spaghetti with meatballs and chicken parmesan – apparently he is a fan of Italian food!). 

I’ve said it for several years, so I might as well say it again…Thomas is a happy, social child and he is such a blessing.  His teacher talks about how talking to him is like talking with an adult. She recently surmised that the reason he comes over to talk with her so much is because talking with adults is easier for him than talking with his peers.  I thought that was funny.

For all the moments he drives us crazy by not listening or having a temper, there are many more moments that he does something to make us smile.  I remain eternally thankful that he is our son.  It’s been quite a ride these past seven years and I look forward to the years to come…I just want them to slow down!

Calling the tooth fairy!

FINALLY!  Thomas was starting to feel like he was the last kid in the entire first grade to lose a tooth. 

About a week ago, the tooth was getting very loose and I thought it was going to come out at any moment.

That tooth had other plans.  It had plans to hang on for dear life.

But tonight was the night.  Finally, his grin has changed.

I must first confess that we still brush our kids’ teeth every night.  Their dentist told me once that he brushed his own kids’ teeth until they were 8 or something because he figured there were some lessons that were just too costly to teach (ie. wasn’t worth letting them get cavities to realize they needed to brush teeth better).  We are trying to move Thomas into doing this completely by himself (and he is fine with that, by the way), but I still help a little. 

So tonight I was using his electric toothbrush and gently going over the bottom teeth.  That one tooth seemed to move all the way back and I thought it may have popped but I wasn’t sure.  He immediately said “OUCH!”  There was lots of toothpaste froth, so I told him to spit.  And there it was in the sink.  His little tooth.  He was so very happy!

My camera was acting up and I was trying to rush to capture the moment, so excuse the less than stellar pictures.  In this next one I focused on the wrong thing (I mean to focus on his reflection in the mirror), but you get the point.  He couldn’t stop looking at himself.

 

 

He was positively giddy before bed.  He said he heard the tooth fairy pays $5 for the first tooth.  As happy as he was, I guess I hope she doesn’t disappoint!

By the way, I pulled out his baby book to record the momentous occasion and noticed that was the first tooth that came in (well, it and the one next to it came in simultaneously, just before Christmas in 2006).  Six years and one month later…first in, first out!