Four boys and one mom

With only two weeks before Thomas starts school (one week now!) and knowing that Parker’s surgery was right around the corner (and would involve some recovery time), we decided to roll two owed playdates into one and have two of Thomas’ friends over at the same time last Monday.  These boys (Thomas & Henson) were Thomas’ best friends in his 3s class.  The three of them were definitely the “Three Musketeers” of the class.  Thomas & Thomas were still in the same class in the 4s and we made a point to also stay close to Henson as well. 

It was a little crazy, but I actually managed to get laundry washed and folded, assemble dinner and tidy up around the house while they were all playing.  I would NEVER be able to do that with just my boys.  I even fed them all lunch (and they were happy that it ended with popsicles!).

Next year all of these boys will be at different schools, but we hope we can maintain the friendships.  Thomas sure loves his buddies (and Parker loves them too!).

Eviction notice

We’ve endured many firsts in our parenting journey--stitches (traditional and glue), a minor fracture, pneumonia, Bells Palsy, nebulizers, food allergies and intolerances, asthma and many other maladies and injuries—but tomorrow will be a first. First real surgery. I am a nervous wreck.

Tomorrow morning Parker will have those monstrous tonsils and adenoids removed. They have been served with their official eviction notice! I know it’s for the best. I know that in the end he will sleep and breathe better, but goodness, the thought of anesthesia and the fact that he has no way of fully understanding what is coming his way just breaks my heart! We’ve told him there will be some pain…but he doesn’t know it’s going to last for so long.

I just have to keep reminding myself it is for the best. His pediatrician, ENT and allergist ALL agree it is necessary, but it’s hard not to keep returning to the fact that he is three and it is SURGERY. Oh, and to make things better this week, Thomas has been sick with a high fever since Tuesday afternoon and it’s taken all that I have just to keep the two of them away from each other since then! Hopefully Thomas will be better soon too! I felt terrible for shipping my sick son off to be with his grandparents, but it was for the best.

Here's Parker talking a little about what is to come...

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Please pray for a successful surgery and a quick and easy-as-it-can-be recovery. Many thanks!

Sunday evening picnic

One of the best things about where we live now is that we are about 10 minutes from the beach.  We decided to not go to the beach on Saturday morning, and instead opted for a Sunday evening picnic.  It was great.

I didn’t take our good camera, and our old camera apparently has a broken sensor of some sort and outdoor pictures come out much darker than they should be, but I tried to compensate by taking pictures semi-manually.  It’s something.

After we played in the water a little bit and jumped some waves until the boys were tired of the salt water in their faces, we came back to the sand and built some castles and dug a big hole.  Parker just couldn’t help but jump in it.

Then they filled it in and Thomas sat in it.

Then they chased seagulls for a little while…

And they chased them right on up to the top of the “hill” nearby.  They thought this was great.

Time to chase more seagulls!

It was a great way to spend the evening.  We just need to do it more often…and next time, we need to drag some friends along with us.  :)

When negatives are positive

Today I took Parker to the allergist (his first visit) to get another opinion on this strange rash he’s had since early July and to get him tested for the basic common allergens (including peanuts). 

The good news is, he is not allergic to anything (well, not anything included on the panel gave him.  The panel included dust mites, ragweed, mixed weeds, cockroach (yuck), grasses, molds, trees, dog, cat, feathers, more molds, bayberry, red cedar, peanut, almond, black walnut, brazil nut, cashew, English walnut, hazelnut, pecan, pistachio). 

The bad news is, we still don’t really know what is causing the rash…aside from having sensitive skin.  He a prescription body oil to use after the bath and an even milder soap (than the one we were already using).  He suggested we double rinse all of Parker’s clothes and bedding (good thing the washer has that as a simple button to push!).  Luckily the rash has been improving, so who knows…maybe it will just run its course. 

After my post the other day, I felt I should post this positive about all of these negatives.  If I have to have a child with a food allergy, at least maybe it can only involve ONE of my children.

The other positive from the appointment was more affirmation that having a tonsilectomy and adenoidectomy (T&A) is the right thing to do for Parker.  The allergist thought tonsils were definitely abnormally large and he agrees with the pediatrician and the ENT that they should come out and that Parker should really, really benefit from having them (and the adenoids) removed.  He also discovered that the pressure on Parker’s left eardrum is not what it should be and it’s likely the cause of the constant fluid buildup whenever Parker has a cold (this will also be helped by the T&A…yes, that is what the procedure is commonly called!).  Again, more affirmation that we are doing the right thing. 

We are still scheduled for the T&A on Friday.  However, after a busy day today, we returned home to discover that Thomas is running a fever.  His only other symptom is saying his “brain hurts” – which he translated to mean that his whole head hurts.  He sounds (in his sleep) like he might be a little congested.  Not sure what it is, but I’m horrified to think of all of the children he has been around in the past two days and who might have picked up whatever he is carrying.  And, of course, I’m terrified that Parker will get it too.  It will be awful if Parker gets it before Friday and then can’t have the surgery…but it will be worse if Parker gets it after Friday and then has to deal with that on top of recovering.  Things are never easy.

But hey, Parker is not allergic to peanuts and that is very good news.  For that I am truly thankful.

The worst part of motherhood

There are certain things about parenthood that are difficult.  There are moments when I want to pull out my hair and run screaming down the street.  But all of the dirty diapers, crazy ailments, unexplained rashes, whiny children, playroom messes and other unfun parts of parenting don’t hold a candle to what for me has been the hardest part about being a Mommy. 

The most difficult thing for me is knowing that a bowl of something like these might as well be poison.

You see, the worst thing for me is having a child who has a food allergy.  I hate it for him and the limitations it imposes.  I hate it that he ever has to give a second thought to “can I eat that?” And I am deeply saddened by the fact that my child may go through his entire childhood without enjoying a bite of the delicious staple that is part of almost every child’s diet…a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. (And I should note that PB&Js are probably to blame for his allergy since I had one nearly every day I was on bedrest (for five months) during my pregnancy with him…studies have shown (now) that such “overexposure” to a food can cause an allergy in that unborn child.)

For a few reasons, I don’t think I’ve ever discussed Thomas’ peanut allergy on here, but yes, he was diagnosed with it in November 2008 (when he was 2.5).  Initially the doctor was pretty confident that he either didn’t have a true allergy or that he would outgrow it quickly.  His first RAST (blood test) gave him a ridiculously low number for his positive reaction (a 0.49 – the doctor says a 14 would be someone with a severe allergy).  He failed a peanut “challenge” test (attempted to eat about 1/8 a tsp. of peanut butter).  The doctor ordered a retest on the RAST six months later and Thomas’ number skyrocketed to 6.98.  At that point the allergist said we should remove all peanuts from our home and treat it very, very seriously.

Anyway, so it really….sucks (for lack of a more fitting term).  Though I should say that Thomas has been a champion about it.  Perhaps because it’s all he has ever known, he is good about asking us before he eats something, and he never touches anything off the plate of a friend who is enjoying a PB&J (even if he is offered his most favorite potato chips in the whole world!). It has also helped us that he hates chocolate because it helps us avoid a lot of candy options. But I hate telling him, “you can’t have that because it might have/or does have peanuts.”  I hate it.  And I hate the way I hold my breath sometimes when he has a cookie or a bite of cake and I never know if maybe there might be a trace of peanut flour (Pillsbury ridiculously uses that in some of their non-peanut varieties of break-n-bake cookies).  Though we try to avoid baked goods in almost all situations unless we know they are safe.

At our church, after the Sunday service coffee and snacks are offered to attendees.  Thomas & Parker love it because they can get a snack and lemonade, but it always makes me nervous.  Today we let the boys have lemonade and then let Thomas pick out some chips (they seemed to be the safest thing on the table because the other things were mostly cookies and such).  When Thomas wanted a refill of his lemonade, I walked with him.  He stopped at the snack table and put his hand over a dish of pretzel bites like the ones pictured above.  He asked if he could have one and I said he could.

He put one in his mouth and immediately, I mean IMMEDIATELY, my “you know better” mothering instinct kicked in.  I reached into his mouth and told him to spit it out.  He did without a fuss, and thankfully it was before he had taken a bite.  Then I explained that I just remembered that I think some things like those have peanut butter in them.  I tested one and sure enough…

I felt like crying.  I mean, I know that sounds silly, but I felt like such a bad mother.  I know better.  I should have tried it before I gave it to him and yet we were one second from causing a tremendous scene and possibly putting his life at risk.  Thank God, truly, that I immediately thought better.

You hear about crazy parents who want to have all peanuts or wheat or gluten or whatever it is removed from their child’s school entirely.  I used to think those parents were crazy.  I mean, why should the other 95% of students (I’m making that number up) suffer because of the crazy food allergies of  a paltry 5%?  But now I get it.  Those parents want their children to be free of limitations.  They want to sleep well at night.  They want their children to be able to eat a school lunch from the cafeteria (if that is what they want!) just like all of the other children. 

Thomas has been at a nut-free school for preschool.  But in a couple of weeks he’ll be going to an “anything goes” school and it’s all on me…and him (and his daddy!) to keep him safe.  It’s such a daily challenge.  I know in time it might get easier in some respects, but in other ways, it only gets harder as his world gets bigger. 

Part of me wants to tell everyone who serves food to a crowd to label their snacks and put warnings about peanuts or shellfish or whatever it is that everyone can’t have.  But then the other part of me wonders where it would end.  I suppose it’s not up to the world to protect my child, but it sure would make it easier.

I still hold out hope that Thomas will outgrow his allergy.  The doctor said, after his increased number, it was less likely but he wouldn’t rule it out completely.  A year ago we were supposed to have him retested.  Part of me procrastinated it because I didn’t want to go through the agony of a blood draw with him again (and I was going to have Parker’s done at the same time), but the other part of me feared that the result would be even worse than before.  The previous increase was hard enough to take. 

Anyway, Parker will start his testing this week and we are hoping he comes back with no food allergies (he has still not tried peanuts, but has successfully had tree nuts like almonds, pecans and walnuts).  I’m sure we’ll get Thomas back in for his retest soon too.  In the meantime, I’ll keep carrying our epi-pen and hoping I never have to use it.

By the way, sorry I don’t have a more interesting blog post.  I rarely take pictures it seems, and today this has just weighed heavily on me.  Sometimes I just need to write about what is on my mind!

If only he knew…

I took Parker to the doctor last week for an all-over body rash and ended up with a referral to the speech therapist.  I decided to ignore the doctor’s recommendation, took him to an ENT today, and he said Parker’s tonsils and adenoids should be removed.  Yep, this sweet boy just doesn’t know what is coming…

So how do we get from a rash to minor surgery? Let me explain.  After checking his rash, the doctor gave him a general check-up.  In doing so, she noted his tonsils were enlarged and gave him a strep test.  I brought up that it seems I have frequently been told his tonsils are enlarged and we have been through far too many negative strep tests because of it.  Seriously, we’ve been hearing this for at least 1.5 years, though the doctors have never connected the dots to see the consistency.

She also noted that he speaks “nasally” and said that could be because of the enlarged tonsils.  I noted that he has to work hard to enunciate sometimes and she said that could also be because of the same.  I also brought up the fact that he drools a little bit more than he should, is a definite mouth breather and seems to have difficulty swallowing.  ALL could be attributed to the atypical tonsils.  He also snores a little, has possible episodes of sleep apnea and breathes loudly (through his mouth) all night long.  If I walk into Thomas’ room at night, I cannot hear him breathing.  On the other hand, I listen to Parker breathe on the monitor ALL NIGHT LONG.

Strangely, in the end, she directed that she thought he should see the speech therapist.  I thought it was odd, but went along initially.  Then the more I thought about it, it seemed odd to try to deal with the effects, without trying to correct the cause.  I spoke with a speech therapist friend and she said it is highly likely that the therapist would refer him to an ENT anyway.  So I made an appointment and today we went to meet him.

Along with the other symptoms mentioned above, the doctor and I also discussed his disrupted sleep.  When Parker was 18 months old, he got his first ear infection, and then he had five in a row.  That was two winters ago.  This winter he only had two.   Prior to his first ear infection, he easily slept 12 straight hours a night.  Since then, he wakes 1-3 times a night, on average.  I am up with him 1-3 times a night.  It’s not fun for anyone.  I never really thought of it as the sign of a problem, it seemed to be a mere inconvenience and I kept thinking he’d outgrow it eventually.

The doctor had strong suspicions Parker’s tonsils and adenoids are enlarged before he even got to look.  When he looked, his suspicions were confirmed.  He said they measure the tonsils on a scale of 1 to 4, with 4 meaning the tonsils are so enlarged they are touching and blocking the airway.  He said, “Parker is almost a four.”  Yikes.   Want to see for yourself?

Now for a closer look…

Here’s maybe a better picture…

An extreme close-up…

So anyway, the doctor has made his recommendation, we have tentatively scheduled the (outpatient) surgery for August 5 and now we have to pour over our options and make sure this is what we want to do…and what we want to do now.  The doctor said there is no rush necessarily, but I’d rather have it done before school starts, and I’d rather have it corrected before it affects his speech any further.  Recovery is expected to take 7-10 LONG days.  So please pray with us that we can make the best decision for Parker, and that if we do go through with the surgery, he can recover easily and quickly!

I just don’t want to lose this smile for too long!

Oh, and they think the rash is just eczema and like Thomas when he was Parker’s age, it is worse in the heat of the summer.  So yeah, that’s how we went from a rash to a tonsilectomy in record time.

Happy 4th of July!

Whew!  It’s Monday night and it feels like Friday was eons ago.  Perhaps it’s the sign of a good weekend … or at least a busy one.  I can’t even recall what we did on Friday, but on Saturday we set out for the beach.  We soon realized that we left too late (around 10 am) and we turned around from the bumper-to-bumper traffic and headed for the waterpark instead.  Yes, the boys and I had already been there on the previous day, but they are LOVING time in the water these days (now that their swimming skills have improved greatly) and they were quick to tell us they wanted to go. 

On Sunday, after church we headed up to Pinopolis (after a quick stop at our FAVORITE place to dine on a Sunday – our perfect meat & three).  The boys were ready to hit the water as soon as we got to Nannie & Papa’s house.  Actually, Parker saw Papa working in the yard (of course) and he just had to go over and investigate.  I went on inside, but started to wonder after a few minutes why Parker still had not come inside.  I went out and discovered that he was working hard as Papa’s helper. 

If nothing else, he was keeping him entertained.

I wish I had taken a picture of the boys in their patriotic outfits (Parker in red/white seersucker shorts and blue shirt…Thomas in blue/white seersucker shorts and a red shirt).  They were cute…take my word.  ;-)

Then it was time for the lake. At the waterpark on Friday one of Thomas’ friends offered him a watergun and I reluctantly agreed to let him play with it.  I’m not a big fan of guns (I could never be Sarah Palin’s friend…what can I say?), but he did have a good bit of fun with it.  I just wish guns could come without constant talk of “shooting this and that or you or me.” I’m not a fan…but I know I spent many a day in my own childhood playing Cowboys and Indians with far more realistic looking cap guns.  So whatever, he had fun….

Ahhhh, 4th of July at the lake.  I’ve attended so many picnics at the lake for the 4th of Julys in my life, it just seems like the place to be.

Sully didn’t seem to mind that Trey buried her. 

Poor thing has a love/hate relationship with the lake.  She LOVES being there and plays until her body can hardly move.  So her body hates it, but she obviously feels it is worth a few days of limping.  She is nearly 70, I guess.

The newest addition to the 4th of July picnic on VM drive is Connor.  He could not be more chilled about it all (as he relaxes with his aunts).

It’s impossible to get three children smiling for the camera at once, but I keep trying.  The boys had a ball with their cousin Eliza, as usual!

They gladly took a break from the playing to come have a picnic in the shade. 

 

Then it was time for more fun in the water.  Only daddies can throw their boys into the air.  I cannot imagine such a thing!  But the boys sure love it! (Oh and Thomas’ foot is in this picture….he is diving down next to Papa…such a little fish these days!).

All of the throws look different, but they all end the same…with a big splash!

Sully LOVES the lake more than anyone I think.

Eliza tried a little boogie board surfing with her Daddy.

While Sully just kept on relaxing…

Then more little boy throwing…

This is the only gator I ever want to see around there…

My beautiful niece Eliza had that gator under control!

Parker acted as the motor to drive his Uncle Andrew back to shore. 

Finally it was time to go home.  The kids took their flags and marched around the house saying “Hut – 2 – 3 –4!” over and over again.  Thomas said they were “The Americans” and together they were an American Band.

After all that throwing, sunning, sanding, banding, eating, laughing good time, the boys finally fell asleep on the ride home when we were about five miles from our house.  We had a few errands to run, so they got a little bit of a nap.  Definitely a sign of a good time being had by all!

Happy birthday America!